[Diary] Making a Decision

Dear Friend,

This time, I lost to her again. She is always dominant and trying to control everything in my life. I know I should have been tough and strong, but I told myself, “This is last time I take her decision".

I have a helicopter mom, and every time when she feels she doesn’t want to take your decisions, she would use any kind of methods to make you take her decisions. I had a great opportunity from Dublin City University Language Services where I had my internship last two months. However, they only provided me the opportunity until September 4th, so that’s the thing my mom disagreed on. She said “If the job would be at least one year, I think it is worth going. If not, you had better find a job in Taiwan instead."

Well, we had a really aggressive discussion. And she didn’t really want to compromise. I am the son, and I am the one who always lost because your mom is always right. I really hate this and that. I have to admit that I made a decision very fast to turn down everything such as my flight ticket and my opportunity is because I want to make my mom feel guilty. I did! And she did feel it.

After those 100 days in Europe, I have trained myself to make decisions in every moment and every minute. I think about the pros and cons in a very short time, and then I would say take it or leave it. Once I’ve made up my mind, I didn’t really want to change it. The most annoying thing is not losing this opportunity, it is losing to my mom again. I don’t really want to take her decisions again. You can say that I’m a rebellious child, but I just want to follow my mind, why bother!

When I came home, I started to clean up my room. I have to say it only took me 2 hours to take out all the clothes I don’t need in my closet and all the handouts or text books I used before. When I took the clothes, I just thought that I would never wear this again, and I threw it out. I became a fast decision maker. I used to care about a lot and think that I might wear sometime in the future but actually not. I threw away al most 50  piece of clothes, that’s really an amazing figure.

Making a decision used to be a hard thing for me because I want everything. After my trip, I learned that you have to abandon something you don’t need because you don’t have enough space to maneuver, you have to decide where to go in one city because you don’t have enough time to stay, and you have to decide who is the one you’re going to be with because you only have one person when you meet two friends had two decisions.

There is no time for you to shed a tear and actually you don’t even have time to cry. This ability makes me to embrace more opportunities and more possibilities because I don’t live in the past to regret making wrong decisions or feel sad about giving up. That’s the way the life is. Or I should say, “C’est la vie" 😛






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